Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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