you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
