somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize