im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Can I color on your dick again?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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