I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
