I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I want to fling myself into the sun
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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