meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize