i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
vagina is talking i cant
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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