mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Randomize
