Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
