It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Terrible idea I love it
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
