Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
