I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
