I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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