Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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