I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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