I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
