could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
