At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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