I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize