he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
