Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize