I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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