Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize