Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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