You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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