Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
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It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
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We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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