I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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