covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
