I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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