I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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