I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
