I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
