A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
