I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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