I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize