im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
