I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
