Don't you send me to vm
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
