She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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