I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
