god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs sedatives and a leash
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize