I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
