I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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