You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
