Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
