By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
