you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize