we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
