I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
