just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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