dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
