He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
