i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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