fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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