But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
