Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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