I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
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