Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
