Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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