If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
